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A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, 'Sorry we don't serve food here.

Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, 'No, just leave it in the carton!

I was addicted to the hokey pokey... But, I turned myself around.

Why did Snoop Dogg grab his umbrella?
Fo' drizzle.

I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I've ever seen.

The inventor of the throat lozenge has died. There will be no coffin at his funeral.

Why did the blind man fall into the well?
Because he couldn't see that well.

I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that's just nuts

My wife keeps telling me to stop pretending to be butter. But I'm on a roll now.

What's Forrest Gumpís Gmail password?

Why does the chicken coop have only two doors?
Because if it had four, it'd be a chicken sedan!

If anyone could just reverse the process of making wine, that would be grape.

Do I enjoy making courthouse puns? Guilty.

What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?



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