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Q: What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A: At least a zit waits until you’re a teenager before it comes on your face!

Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an alter boy.

Q: Ever had sex while camping?
A: It's f*cking intents.

Q: What do preists and Mcdonalds have in common?
A: They both stick there meat in 10 year old buns

Q: What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common?
A: In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.

Message From A Neighbor
A man walks into his office box on a Monday morning. He checks his e-mails and sees one from his neighbor. It reads, "Do you have any naked photos of your wife?" Outraged the man replies, "NO I DO NOT!!!!" Shortly after he receives a second e-mail from his neighbor. Expecting an apology he opens the e-mail.
It reads, "Want to buy some?"

Religious Guy
Being a very religious kind of person, when I checked into my hotel, I said to the woman at the desk; "I hope the p*rn channel in my room is disabled."
"No," she said, "It's regular p*rn, you sick bastard!!"

25 Years
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?" The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to f*ck your brains out, and suck your tits dry." Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?" He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

Online Dating
A guy fills out an application for E-harmony to meet the ladies.
E-harmony rejected his application because he failed to answer question 14 properly. The question was, "What do you like most in a woman." The man replied, "My d*ck."

A Sponge
Boy in the bath with his mum. Boy says, "Whats that hairy thing mum ?"
Mum replies, "That is my sponge."
"Oh yes," says the boy, "The babysitters got one, I've seen her washing dads face with it ."



50 Funniest Short Dirty Jokes!

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