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Q: What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
A: A Quarter Ponder with Cheese.

Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q: What's the difference between onions and prostitutes?
A: I cry when I cut up onions...

Q: What does oral sex with an ugly women and rock climbing have in common?
A: They‘re both more enjoyable if you don’t look down.

Q: What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave?
A: A microwave doesn't brown your meat!

No Thanks
A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag, sir?" the cashier asks. "Nah", the guy says. "She’s not that ugly."

Burning Calories
They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the hell runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?

Send Me A Sister
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

Accidental Bump
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."

6 Shots
A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man. "6 shots?!? Are you celebrating something?" "Yeah, my first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house." "No offence, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."


50 Funniest Short Dirty Jokes!

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