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50 Best Funny One Liner Jokes 4



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What is the thinnest book in the world? Biographies of Happy women.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, youíre ugly too.

I shouldíve known it wasnít going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, Iím a Libra and sheís a bitch.

I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

Join The Army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

When you go into court, you are putting your fate into the hands of people who werenít smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.

I have all the money Iíll ever need, if I die by 4:00 p.m. today.

Isnít it odd the way everyone automatically assumes that the goo in soap dispensers is always soap? I like to fill mine with mustard, just to teach people a lesson in trust.

I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.

An escalator can never break, it can only become stairs.

I love my FedEx guy cause heís a drug dealer and he doesnít even know it, and heís always on time.

One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, he said, "Hereís a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture is of you when you were younger.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.

I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because itís hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.

One day I ran into my girlfriend with my car. She asked me why I didn't ride around her. I told her that I didn't think I had enough gas

Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time.

What do men and beer bottles have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually


The 50 Best Funny One Liner Jokes!

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