During a bank heist the Chief told the Sgt. to cover all
exits so the robbers could not get away. Later the Sgt.
reports to the chief. "Sorry sir but they got away." The
chief very disappointed says, "I told you to cover all
Exist." "I did." replied the Sgt. "but they got away through
"Honey," says a husband to his wife, "I invited a friend
home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess.
I havenít been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I
donít feel like cooking a fancy meal!!" "I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the
poor foolís thinking about getting married."
There was a brave with no sexual experience. He went to the
chief and asked to meet one of his daughters. The chief
said, ''No, you first must go into the forest and practice
on the trees.'' The little brave did as he was told. After
several days, the brave returned and asked again, ''Chief,
can I meet with one of your daughters?''
''Why sure you can, young brave,'' said the chief.
So, after a little foreplay with the chief's daughter, the
little brave undressed her. Before going any further, he
turned around, grabbed a stick, and started pushing it in
and out of her. ''What do you think you're doing?'' she
screamed. ''Checking for bees,'' he replied.
Set Of Jumper Cables
A set of jumper cables goes into a bar. The bartender sees
them and asks, "Hey, what are you doing in here?" "Just want
to have a drink and relax awhile," was the reply. "Well, all
right. Just don't start anything!"
Two men drink in a bar.
One man says, "Did you know that beer contains female
The other man says, "No. Is that true?"
"Yes," says the first man. "If you drink too much, you start
talking crap and drive terribly."
Q: What's the difference between
an oral and a rectal thermometer?
A: The taste!
Q: Why did the blonde run out of shampoo?
A: She kept following the instructions: lather,
Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a
A: The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
Q: What do you call a Chinese sex offender?
A: Fu Kum Yung
Q: What's the difference between a woman and a
A: Woman doesn't accept 3 1/2 inch floppies.