A fart is the cry of a jailed turd
Monday is coming,RUUUUNNNNNNN!
everybody sounds Asian when they sneeze .
If life throws you lemons, make lemonade. Then use the
profits to buy an assault rifle. See if life makes the same
One spelling mistake can destroy your life. A Husband sent
this to his wife: I'm having a wonderful time wish you were
If a girl from iceland and a guy from cuba have a kid. Will
he be an icecube?
Cinderella`s glass shoe fits perfectly, I wonder why it fell
off in the first place?
I`m not trying to impress you or anything, but... I`m
is normal..it's everyone else that's weird.
Wow. Sarcasm. That`s way better than having friends.
is wondering where Noah kept woodpeckers on his ark.
Procrastination (verb)-What you`re probably doing now.
Today’s random sporadic mess is brought to you by: Prozac
and coffee D Cause being normal just isn’t enough.
Life’s a Bitch, so I became one!!!
wishes that people would stop stealing… that’s what we have
the government for!!
thinks that if you smoke after sex you’re doing it too fast!
Be nice to nerds, chances are you will be working for them.
would rather check her Facebook than face her checkbook.
is SO COOL that he shot the Deputy after Bob Marley shot the
is SO COOL that if he jumped the shark then Happy Days would
still be on the air.
knows that everyone has the right to be stupid… but some
people are really abusing the privilege!
Jello is koolaid with a hard on (:
Money doesn`t bring happiness, but shopping does
is an idiot wrapped in a moron.
loading brain . . . please wait
just wants less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay
for not getting it done.
still wonders what happened with the ninja met Chuck Norris…
is a part-time biologist, full time ninja!
may not look like much, but I’m a pro at pretending to be a
is thinking that this isn't an office. It's Hell with
Celebrate Thanksgiving like your ancestors did. Invite the
neighbors over, have a feast, kill them and steal their
Realized that today is the tomorrow he worried about