Play Mommy And Daddy
A young man gets sent to jail, and gets put into a jail cell
with a convict the size of the Incredible Hulk. After lights
out, he hears a whisper from the top bunk.
"Let's play Mommy and Daddy. Who do you wanna be?" Thinking
quickly, the man says "Daddy."
"Then come up here and suck Mommy's d**k."
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the ref was blowing fowls.
3 Old Ladies
One day three old ladies were sitting on a park bench and
this guy jumped out of the bushes and flashed them.
The first lady had a stroke, the second one had a stroke,
and the third one's arm was too short to reach.
My Big Sister
A little girl cuts her hand on the playground and runs
crying to the teacher. She asks the teacher for a glass of
"Why do you want a glass of cider?" the teacher asks.
"To take away the pain," sobs the little girl.
"What do you mean?" the teacher asks.
"Well," sobs the little girl. "I overheard my big sister say
that whenever she has a prick in her hand, she can't wait to
get it in cider."
A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl
Suddenly, Lorraine died.
At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see
Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
10 Dollar Hooker
A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs from her.
When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says,
"What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"
Condom And A Coffin
Q: What is the difference between a condom and a coffin?
A: One you cum in, and one you go in, but you have to be
stiff to get into either of them.
A construction worker on the third floor of a building needs
a handsaw. He sees one of the laborers on the first floor
and yells down to him, but the man indicates that he can't
hear. So, the guy on the third floor tries to use signs. He
points to his eye, meaning, "I", then at his knee, meaning,
"need", then he moves his hand back and forth, meaning,
The man on the first floor nods, then drops his pants and
begins to masturbate.
The man on the third floor freaks out and runs down to the
first floor yelling, ''What the hell is wrong with you!?!
Are you stupid or something? I was saying that I needed a
The laborer looks at the carpenter and says, ''I knew that.
I was just trying to tell you that I was coming.''
Birth Control Mints
Have you heard about the new mint-flavored birth control
pill for women that they take immediately before sex?
They're called "Predickamints!"
Games For Your Profession
The game of choice for unemployed people or maintenance
level workers is basketball.
The game of choice for frontline workers is football.
The game of choice for middle management is tennis.
The game of choice for CEOs and executives is golf.
Conclusion: The higher up on the corporate ladder you are,
the smaller your balls are.