Q: Why did the banana go to the
A: Because it was not peeling well
Q: What type of doctor prescribes Coke and 7-up for a
A: A Poptometrist!
Q: What did one eye say to the other eye?
A: I don't know, but something between us smells.
Q: Why did the picture go to jail?
A: Because it was framed.
Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.
How People Were Born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his
father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies
became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then
went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told
him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are
now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied
to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about
her side of the family."
Super Bowl Seat
A gentleman has 50 yard line Super Bowl tickets. When he sat
down, he noticed that the seat next to him was empty. He
asked the man on the other side of the empty seat whether
anyone was sitting there. "No, it is empty. " "That is
incredible, who in their right mind would have a seat for
the biggest sporting event in the world and not use it?" The
second man replied, "Well, the seat belongs to me actually.
I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away.
This is the first Super Bowl we have not been together since
we got married in 1967. " "Oh, I am sorry, that is terrible.
But could you not find someone else. A friend, relative, or
a neighbour to take the seat?" The man shook his head. "No,
They are all at the funeral."
Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown
bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 30 feet in front
of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward
them. The first guy immediately drops his backpack, digs out
a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on.
The second guy says, "What are you thinking? Sneakers will
not help you outrun that bear." "I don't need to out run the
bear," the first guy says. "I just need to out run you."
A well respected local surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one
evening just after arriving home from work. As he was
watching the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor
answered it and heard a fellow doctor colleague on the other
end. "We need a fourth for our poker game tonight" said the
friend. "Very well. I'll be right over," whispered the
doctor. As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is
it serious?" "Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor
gravely. "In fact, three doctors are there already!"
7 Miles A Day
Overweight American went to see his family doctor for some
weight loss advice. The doctor advised that the best
medicine was to run seven miles a day for forty days. The
doctor promised, that would help him lose as much as fifteen
pounds. The American followed the doctor's advice, and,
after forty days, he had indeed lost the fifteen pounds. He
phoned the doctor and thanked him very much for the
excellent advice which produced his weight loss results. At
the end of the conversation, he asked one last question:
"How do I get home, now that I am 280 miles away from home?"